Relationships are fun when they are going great. In fact, they bring out the best of us, but it’s hard not to have concerns since relationships are about two people.
But note, those secret fears you harbor about relationships can eventually impact your startup or entrepreneurial journey. You know you need love, but you’d rather be single than go through the possible pain of regret, betrayal, or whatever other drama may come with dating. But being single isn’t fun either, especially when you don’t want to be. But, for many entrepreneurs, it is the reality of life.
Being left at the altar or stood up on a date (any event altogether)
Even though we’d like to think there’s a tiny chance of this happening, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s a real fear for most women (face it we have egos too). Imagine all that money, all that excitement and the time spent planning the wedding event only to end it, to be stood up? Imagine the long hours of standing in the line at H&M, after 3 hours of searching and finally finding your perfect dress (in his favorite color mind you), right before your night out on the town. At the very moment, you leave the store; you get a message the date is off.
As for being stood up at the alter, this fear is more prevalent among ladies who have had extended engagements and have stopped being a 100% sure that their partners want to be with them. If this ever happened to you, this could cause you to hesitate and severely second guest making any huge decisions in business, and even worse taking any risk.
Random question, though. If your partner leaves you at the altar or stands you up for a date, who pays the tab?
In business, it’s the same fear, but in a different format. Questions like: “Is my business partner going to pull his/her weight” or “are my team members going to submit their part of the business plan before our Angel Investor meeting?”
If you’ve ever been let down altogether, it can have an emotional and mental impact your next ventures or relationship.
Being broken up with because of their past
It’s why the question of sharing history with a partner comes up so regularly whenever we are hanging out with friends. How do you know what will spook him? What if he can’t take it or he starts to allow jealousy to creep into his heart? If you make the decision to share past escapades, weird family truths or ex-histories, it should depend on your partner’s nature and the understanding that secrets tend to leak at the worst possible time and in the ugliest way. Would you want to wait for that?
Being in love then suddenly dumped
Maybe you’ve done this before. Sometimes in a relationship, you may have decided to guard your heart because you are afraid of getting it broken. While some say it’s the safest way to play it. Others insist that it’s not a game and that you should let love take its course. Two truths you should bear in mind if it doesn’t work out; you can’t force love and sometimes a good dumping produces the greatest hits. Ask Adele.
Even in business, the above would be a concern. One business relationship or client relationship turning sour can easily cause us to fear retaliation of some sort or even worse spread of gossip that could lead to losing potential customers or partners.
When breakups occur, we just have to trust the process. Those who are meant to be in our lives or work with us will be.
Realizing that their fiance is an alien (someone or something they are unfamiliar with)
Do you know this man? I’ve known friends to ask this question to themselves when their man scratches his pits or somewhere even more disheartening.
The problem continues, when you watch him toss his clothes to the floor, and you wonder if he was raised in a treehouse in the forest. We learn about each other for as long as we are together. Always expect surprises but pray for good ones. That he will never commit:
The fear that you may be wasting years of your life with someone who won’t marry can get worse with every passing Valentine’s Day, vacation or visit to see your family. “Is he going to marry you?” They ask. Like you can read his mind. Like you are not worried enough, and you need them rubbing it in.
Doubting your partner of a significant number of years may have you doubting everything in your life (especially your business).
Worrying that someone more beautiful or better in bed will snatch your partner
This brand of fear can be incredibly dangerous as it usually goes downhill once it appears. It increases desperation, and all bets are off soon after.
Even if you let go of these fears, don’t ignore your instincts. Red flags can be a sign that it’s time to take a deeper look at the situation or have the conversation with your partner. And most importantly, take immediate action in relationships going sour, especially before the impact seeps into your personal or business affairs.
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